Triggers

I sure have a lot lately. I read a news article late last night that brought back a lot of stuff. I tried talking about it this morning with my lady, but I couldn't. I just didn't want to.


Mother Arrested After Kicking Young Daughters Out of Car, Driving Away.

That's the article that threw me into a tail spin.

When I was 14, we were driving home to Eastern Pennsylvania from a friend's home in Scotch Plains, NJ late on a Sunday night. I'm not sure what time it was, but it was after midnight. It was cold, wet and in the middle of nowhere.

I reached over to turn the heat up in the car. That was apparently the wrong thing to do. My father pulled over and told me to get out. He'd been drinking, so I didn't want to push. I knew he'd hurt me if I didn't get out. So, I got out, and he drove away into the night. We were on some freeway. I don't know which one. I looked around me and saw a light a ways off. So, I headed for that. I figured that way, I could at least be in the light. Lucky for me, that light was on a farm and I pounded on the door. The family inside was kind and let me in. They called the police and I was whisked away to the local sheriff's station.

I fell asleep on the waiting room bench. After the sun had risen, my Dad showed up to pick me up. They had called him and called him and called him. He didn't answer the phone. They assumed he was out looking for me. I actually thought he was too. Finally after many hours of not being able to reach him, they asked the local police to go to our house. He was there, asleep. He'd driven off, gotten home and went to bed. They got him up, he picked me up and we went home.

So, yeah, that memory is painful. You know what really hurts though? They arrested that lady. The one who actually tried to retrieve her children. I'm not sure my father was even chastised. That's what gets me. It's like some sort of fucked up envy toward those girls.

My brain is a clusterfuck.