I'm done with school!

I had my last final yesterday. This makes for a happy Binky. I was so nervous about this whole going back to school thing that I had myself all twitterpated. I don't know why I stressed so much, but I did. I worried about every grade, every ort of information handed out. I think I can be more relaxed next semester. I haven't gotten stupid since the last time I went to school.

After my last final, some of my fellow classmates and I went out for cocktails. I am so not 23 anymore.

I know these are brief

But I will post more in the coming weeks. Life isn't hectic, but I do have enough on my plate to keep me busy through tomorrow, at least.. lol

I have one more final today (PHIL) and one more tomorrow (ENG) and I am done, done, done! yay! The SOC final yesterday went well. I am sure I did well enough on it, regardless.

Last night I had dinner at General Kelly's house. How interesting. It really made me remember how much I miss living down in Del Mar. I am kinda glad now that we will be moving back down there. Austen will ride his bike to school, we will have a yard and Tom will be a mile from work. If we end up getting stuck here for another couple of years, it won't be too bad!

Oh, and I am posting this from my shiny new laptop. How fun!!

PSYC 101 Final

I was allotted 2 hours and 15 minutes to take the test. I finished in 12 minutes. Is this good or bad?

I might try this...

I guess I might try to keep up with a blog. I usually suck at things like this, though. So, it's here anyway. That means if I am inspired at some moment, I can write.

It could be really cool with all of the traveling this summer, Tom's R&R and Eve's wedding.

Recent Conversation with My Hubby...

Just had to share this:

Binks: Honey, do you like Boxers or the Boxer Briefs Better?

Tom: Depends.

Binks: You're not THAT old!!!

When do I get my big girl panties?

When does my life stop being about my father? I cannot go a day, hell an hour, without thinking of some dad reference. I get better, sometimes. Then it all comes back. The most bizarre shit sends me spinning out-of-control into an abyss of emotion.

I have figured out that I want nothing to do with the man.

I have figured out that the shit he did to me, my brother, my mother and my son was fucked up.

I have figured out that it wasn't/isn't my fault.

So why does this still torment me so much? I want so badly to live in *this* moment. My life is amazing. I have the coolest kiddo you could ever ask for, the most amazing lover/friend that I could ever ask for, a few really great friends, and a few animals to snuggle with. I have figured out that I like being a wife & mother. However, I have not been able to *be* those things for a while. My mind is so not anywhere near right now, most of the time. I spend my days trying to distract myself but not achieving anything. None of that is his fault, that's all me. It's just all wrapped up together though.

I want to let go of him completely, but I don't know how. I just don't know how to function anymore.

Any thoughts? (other than medicating me into a coma - my doctor is already trying that)

PHENOMENAL WOMAN (wow)

A friend of mine had this on her MySpace page. I wanted to post it somewhere that I would have access to it regularly (in case she changed her page). It's an amazing piece, and, incredibly, something I *needed* today...


PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.