Live with love and you will love to live.

For Liz

2010-06-21T23:24:00.001-07:00

I know, I haven't written in forever. I just haven't had it in me. There are a gajillion projects around the house that need my attention, school was bogging me down, and I just wasn't feeling like writing.

So, Liz pulled me out by tagging me in a meme.

Here ya go:

(I just noticed some misspellings - not rewriting sorry!)

Countdown Timers... cus I lubba dem.

2009-12-28T13:51:00.000-08:00

MySpace-Countdowns

MySpace-Countdowns

Keep on keepin' on....

2009-11-09T16:06:00.001-08:00

Life in Hawaii is great. We're a little tired of this minuscule rental house, but it's not for much longer. We should be signing on the house on the 11th of January and then we get the keys on the 15th. We are going to spend a few days painting and then take delivery of our household goods the following week sometime.

I am back in school at Chaminade University at Honolulu. It's a private, Catholic school. I'm in the accelerated bachelor program, even though I am still just working on pre-requisites for the PharmD program at Creighton University. Hopefully I can apply for that program in '10, but I'm not sure yet. My math is sort of behind so I might not be able to get into the program until '11.

Tom is waiting with bated breath for the selection list. He is eligible for CWO5, which is a big ole deal. It will be the last feather in his cap and kind of be the punctuation point on his career. He's working here in Hawaii at a position he appears to really enjoy. We're hoping he can stretch that out for a few years and then later take the CWO5 position that is up at Camp Smith so we can stay here 6ish years. That should be enough time for me to finish school and it will put Tom right around 30 years of service (75% retirement woot!). He should be able to fully retire at that point. No working. We've tossed about the idea of him taking a position somewhere in Europe for a few years so we can travel throughout Eurasia. Who knows. Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for Tom. The selections have already been made, we're just waiting for the list to come out!

Last time we had a "Wet Down & Birthday" party for his promotion. This time it will be "Wet-down, birthday and house-warming!"

Here's a picture of the house as of last week. It's just waiting for flooring!

Coming along nicely!

2009-10-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

Here's the house as of Thursday Sept 30:

Eventually I will write an in depth update about things that have been going on. However, most of it is deeply emotional and I am just not there yet. So, know that things are going well and growing.

Housing Update

2009-08-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

So we spent a lot of time driving around Oahu in the last ten days. It was a rollercoaster of emotion for me. I loved a place online and it was horrid in person. I saw what was readily available and worried that we were going to have a project house. I wouldn't mind a project house, but since we're here a short time and not looking toward this being our forever home, it just didn't make too much sense (or cents).

So we looked at a couple of new developments. They are the only ones that aren't short-sales and those are touchy with VA lending. We found a place that we really loved. It was a bit more than we wanted to spend, but an awesome house. Look here at the second house down called Marina. The pictures really don't do it justice. It is a weird house (two separate one car garages) but we loved it. A lot.

Then the next day, we were out looking and the agent took us to this other development. When they showed us the brochure, there were a few places within our budget and we were surprised. So we went marching through the model homes. There were two we liked, but, unfortunately, one had a weird upstairs and one had a weird downstairs. We were torn. We made an appointment to come back the next day so that she could show us the facilities. Essentially she wanted to show us the country club and marina that adjoin the property. The map linked shows you the overhead (if you choose the satellite option on google maps) of the area. It is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more advanced now, but the project is not complete.

So, back to the house. Later we found out that the house with the weird upstairs could be changed much more to our liking. It wouldn't be perfect but better. The community is currently being built, and like most new communities, they don't put all the houses up at once. The developer builds some, sells some, builds some, sells some.

We have pretty much decided to buy this house. It won't be ready until December, but we are ok with that. Since we're staying in this little rental house, we can sock some money away. Unfortunately, we are going to close too late for the first time buyer's credit (8k) unless they extend it to 2010, but we're spending about 40k less than we had budgeted, so I guess it's a wash...

This picture is from a house just down the street (note the service flag in the window). It is NOT our house, but it is just like ours will be. We are not sure what exterior colors we will get just yet, though.

Oh and that deck you see on the front of the house, that's right off the master suite and at the proposed Flach house, that deck will be facing the south with a dog park right across the street. We should get some nice sunset views.

Life so far...

2009-08-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

So, as prompted by one of my dear friends, I have not done much more than just post one line updates on Facebook. I should tell yall some more, eh?

OK, so this is only our 5th day here. The first two days were spent exploring the Leeward side of the island. We had thought we wanted to live in the area called Ewa Beach. After driving around down there, we were a bit discouraged. There are some nice houses but they are almost all stacked RIGHT ON TOP of each other. I mean you could stand between the two houses and touch each one. It was a let down.

The next day, we decided to head out to another little community called Kapolei. It's near Barber's Point which is a Naval Air Station that is being re-utilized. So, there is a commissary out there. We thought that was a plus. Tom pointed out a neighborhood on the hill that looked waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of our price range. I finally caved and we drove through it. Well there were a few (less than 10) houses for sale in the neighborhood and they should almost all have SPECTACULAR views of the ocean. They are south facing, so not much of a sunset view, but still! So we looked up some basics on our phones and wrote down a lot of addresses.

When we got home, I explored a bit online and the houses we liked were a bit more expensive than we had planned on spending, but they were not unattainable. Then Tom started doing a bit of research on the area. It's really kind of fascinating. It is 16 miles from downtown Honolulu, but it is part of Honolulu and all of the city/county government is moving out there. There is already a decent infrastructure in place and once they improve the freeway out there, it will be good to grow for a while. There is a Marriott resort out there and Disney is building a resort, too. So, theoretically, it should be a good place to invest. It's also a much nicer area than Ewa. So, we asked for more money and we're going to go hunt tomorrow.

Tom is still off work and will probably not report until September first. Austen is liking it thus far and the animals are all content here. Hershey ate a bug the other night and his lips became swollen to twice their normal size. The boys are going off to the groomer today. We have learned that with all wood floors, their nails have to be MUCH shorter or you have to listen to clickety clackety all night long.

So, that is about it. Love exploring thus far. It's nice having vacation first and having the time to get used to an area before choosing where we want to be.

Our First Tropical Adventure in Food

2009-08-05T18:50:00.001-07:00

Ok, well actually it was our second. Last night we ordered the 'house special' pho which was full of things we could not identify. One was some sort of cephalopod. One was some sort of organ meat. Then there was some veal, that was easy to recognize. The other thing though... umm... I think it was jelly fish. I really do.

Anyway, onto today's adventure: Dragon Fruit

This is the outside of the fruit. It's pretty, huh?

and a couple of the inside:

The pink is so vibrant. I guess it also comes in white. So, onto the review. Texture like kiwi fruit but no flavor. None, really. It was quite a let down, but it sure is neat to look at!

One week...

2009-07-24T08:37:00.001-07:00

MySpace Countdown Clocks

Countdown Timer!

2009-07-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

Countdown To Tom's Arrival HOME!!!

ACK! Everything is so close I can taste it!

2009-07-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

So, Tom comes home FRIDAY! OMG OMG OMG I can hardly believe that this crap is finally over. 19 months, folks. That's a long mudderfrakkin time.

After he gets home we buff the house and then the movers come for our express shipment on the 23rd and then our household goods on the 27th. Austen and I fly out on the 1st and Tom flies out on the 2nd (pet issues mean we have to fly separately).

We have rented a condo for two months. Hopefully our house hunting will be productive and we can get a contract and close within that time frame. If we can't well... we might just beach it.. hahahahaha

I am so dang nervous!

I love Helen & Margaret

2009-07-07T20:41:00.001-07:00

This is well worth the read.

Leave it to me...

2009-07-01T13:43:00.001-07:00

To arrive in San Francisco on the afternoon of PRIDE! and take a wrong turn, into the Castro.

It was awesome though. The sheer acceptance was palpable. I love that about this city, oh and the architecture.

Quiche

2009-06-21T18:31:00.001-07:00

This the recipe for the quiche that Michelle and I were talking about on FB:

Asparagus and Leek Quiche

1 9" pie crust (I make my own, but you surely can use a frozen type)
1 egg white
1 (ish) tblsp butter
2 leeks (white and light green parts washed well and very thinly sliced)
1 bundle asparagus (I guess that's about a pound? I just buy the normal bundle and use that) snap off the woody ends and then cut on the diagonal into pieces about 1/2" long or shorter.
I usually add about 1.5 cups chopped ham to this (in my family meat is a necessary ugh! but you could use turkey that's very yummy or fish smoked salmon would be good or could just add more veggies a spinach or broccoli rabe or broccoli etc. etc. in there would be good or just not add anything and you will have a quiche with a bit more egg to it).

4 large eggs
1 1/4 cups half and half (you CAN use the fat free kind it works fine)
1 tblsp cornstarch
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
1/4 (ish) tsp freshly ground nutmeg (I grind it into my hand and use about a dime to quarter size)
salt to taste (I use sea or kosher salt almost exclusively and it's usually about 1/4 tsp of either of those would be less table salt)

1 cup shredded cheese - I use Monterrey jack or mozzarella (whatever I have on hand) but this would be best with a swiss, I think. My kids loathe swiss cheese though... sad for me!

Oven to 375
Rack in lowest position
put crust in pan, brush bottom with egg white and bake for 10 minutes

In large skillet, melt butter and add leeks, asparagus and any meat or other filling ingredient you may use and season with fresh ground pepper. Let the asparagus get bright green and barely tender. Then allow to cool - doesn't have to be totally cool though.

Mix eggs, half and half, more ground pepper, nutmeg, cornstarch and salt with a whisk.

Put cheese on the bottom of the pre-baked crust then top with asparagus mixture and spread it evenly over crust. Top this with the egg mixture.

Bake for 45-50 minutes until center of the quiche is just set. Remove and let stand for 15 minutes before slicing.

Teenagers

2009-06-17T15:37:00.001-07:00

What do you do with them?

My daughter is making some huge choices and I wish to whatever god may be that I could help her see the reality of what she's choosing.

Does anyone know of a documentary type film that depicts life as a single mother? I was really hoping to find something that would depict life as a teen mother, but I cannot find anything.

I don't know if prayer works or if you can really send positive energy to someone, but if you have it in ya, please send all you have to Tori. She needs strength and clarity right now and has neither.

Food Stuff

2009-05-31T20:12:00.001-07:00

First, Liz, the pasta/rabe/sausage was fabulous. I think next time I will add a little 'zing' to it with something. I used mild sausage because Tori doesn't eat anything spicy. Maybe that is why it seemed a little bland? I am thinking more garlic, a healthy dose of reggiano and maybe just a wee bit o' Tony's Chachere's.

On to tonight's dinner:

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
6 boneless skinless chicken breast halves
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup chicken broth (may use bouillon)
2 carrots, sliced thin
3 celery ribs, sliced thin
Leek sliced thin
1/3 cup half-and-half cream
3 cups hot cooked rice
1 avocado, peeled and sliced in thin strips (wait until the last minute so avocado doesn't turn brown)
1/3 cup slivered almond

Directions
1 Using a large heavy skillet, heat the oil over medium heat.
2 Add the ginger, cinnamon, paprika, curry, salt and pepper to the oil.
3 Stir and cook the spices in the oil for 2 minutes.
4 Add the chicken pieces and cook over medium heat on each side for approximately 5 minutes or till lightly browned.
5 Remove chicken from pan.
6 Pour off any excess oil from the skillet.
7 Add wine to the skillet and deglaze for about 1 minute.
8 Add broth, carrots and celery and return chicken to the skillet, bringing all to a boil.
9 Reduce heat to low.
10 Cover and simmer for 30 minutes or until chicken pieces are tender.
11 Remove chicken from skillet; keep warm.
12 Add half and half to skillet, stirring until incorporated, over low heat.
13 Place rice on platter and distribute chicken pieces on top of rice.
14 Place avocado slices on top then pour sauce mixture over all.
15 Sprinkle top with slivered almonds.

I didn't have the almonds so I skipped those, but they would be good on it.

I would double the sauce next time. I only used 3 chicken breasts instead of 6 and it was just enough sauce.

I also used heavy cream instead of 1/2 & 1/2 because it's what I had. I think next time I will try coconut milk instead.

I would also add more veggies to the sauce. You could put ALL sorts of yummy veggies in there and hide them from the kidlets!

The kids gobbled it down faster than they could shovel it onto their plates. I served some sauteed asparagus with it that went very well. It would go well with any mild veggie...

I also think that next time I will chop the chicken after the first cooking so that it is more a part of the sauce.
Oh and I used a Viognier for the wine. YUM YUM YUM!!!

Someone read my mind!

2009-04-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

I am in love with Magic Erasers. I have been for a long, long time. I think they might be the best thing ever. Really. I've oft thought they should put one on a stick so I don't have to get down on my hands and knees to use them on the floor. Well they did it! It works just as fabulously as I had imagined.

If Magic Erasers are horrible for the environment, going to give me cancer or never going to biodegrade, please don't tell me. I don't want to know. I love them.

Bacon?

2009-04-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

Ya know, I don't really like the thought of bacon. I mean really, that fat and the fact that it's pork (swine are the most ill treated of all our food sources and they're the ones that are smart). It just doesn't seem like it should be so.good.

It turns out that it's some sort of great chemical reaction.

The first link has a silly photo, but nothing bad. It's a girl's rear end in a bikini bottom - in case you don't want your chillrens to see.

Why we love bacon.

Bacon Sandwich Cures Hangover

Triggers

2009-04-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

I sure have a lot lately. I read a news article late last night that brought back a lot of stuff. I tried talking about it this morning with my lady, but I couldn't. I just didn't want to.

Mother Arrested After Kicking Young Daughters Out of Car, Driving Away.

That's the article that threw me into a tail spin.

When I was 14, we were driving home to Eastern Pennsylvania from a friend's home in Scotch Plains, NJ late on a Sunday night. I'm not sure what time it was, but it was after midnight. It was cold, wet and in the middle of nowhere.

I reached over to turn the heat up in the car. That was apparently the wrong thing to do. My father pulled over and told me to get out. He'd been drinking, so I didn't want to push. I knew he'd hurt me if I didn't get out. So, I got out, and he drove away into the night. We were on some freeway. I don't know which one. I looked around me and saw a light a ways off. So, I headed for that. I figured that way, I could at least be in the light. Lucky for me, that light was on a farm and I pounded on the door. The family inside was kind and let me in. They called the police and I was whisked away to the local sheriff's station.

I fell asleep on the waiting room bench. After the sun had risen, my Dad showed up to pick me up. They had called him and called him and called him. He didn't answer the phone. They assumed he was out looking for me. I actually thought he was too. Finally after many hours of not being able to reach him, they asked the local police to go to our house. He was there, asleep. He'd driven off, gotten home and went to bed. They got him up, he picked me up and we went home.

So, yeah, that memory is painful. You know what really hurts though? They arrested that lady. The one who actually tried to retrieve her children. I'm not sure my father was even chastised. That's what gets me. It's like some sort of fucked up envy toward those girls.

My brain is a clusterfuck.

Vegetables

2009-04-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

I'm on a quest to try them all. So, here's my list. I am going to italicize the ones I've not heretofore tried. If you have a recipe, send it on! This list isn't that great. There are a few things missing, but the things I know are missing are things I've tried.

Bulb Vegetables
Chives
Garlic
Leeks
Onions
Scallions
Shallots
Water chestnuts
Fruit Vegetables
Avocados
Chayote
Cucumbers
Eggplant
Okra
Olives
Peppers
Squash
Tomatoes
Tomatillos
Inflorescent Vegetables
Artichokes
Broccoli
Broccoli rabe
Cauliflower
Leaf Vegetables
Arugula
Brussels sprouts
Cabbage
Chicory
Chinese cabbage
Collards
Cress
Dandelion nettles
Endive
Lamb's lettuce
Lettuce
Nasturtium
Purslane
Radicchio
Savoy
Sea kale
Sorrel
Spinach
Root Vegetables
Beets
Burdock
Carrots
Celeriac
Malanga
Parsnips
Radishes
Rutabaga
Salsify
Turnips
Stalk Vegetable
Asparagus
Bamboo
Cardoon
Celery
Chard
Fiddlehead
Fennel
Kohlrabi
Tuber Vegetable
Cassava
Crosne
Jerusalem artichoke (I've had pastas made from Jerusalem Artichoke flour, but not used the straight veggie)
Jicama
Potato
Sweet potato
Taro
Yam

Very freaking cool...

2009-04-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite performers. Lifted this off a forum I belong to. Very, very cool.

Sounds like a plan

2009-04-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

Whew! I think we've finally figured out what we're doing.

We've decided to buy a home in Hawaii, which is nauseating in this market, but oh well! So, we're furiously hunting for houses all over Oahu. It's an interesting thing when you don't know the lay of the land, etc. I've never spent any time on Oahu and Tom hasn't been there in like a decade. Also, the reason we CAN buy on Oahu is the slumping market. How much farther is it going to slump?? Eeek... makes me nervous.

Tom will be home July 18th ish and we will start packing up the following week. We intend to fly out of here July 30th or 31st. Hopefully we can find and close on (or rent from the seller) fairly quickly so that we don't have to live in a tiny place with two children and four animals!

The animals are all set to go. Each of them is healthy and has the required anti-bodies needed to enter Hawaii (they don't have rabies there and want to keep it that way). They are all going to have to fly, which gives me fits. I am sure the boys can handle it but it has to be hard on the cats. I think we might try to sedate them and put them in carry ons. They're so little.

Anyway, just thought I would check in.

The Dirty Thirty

2009-04-04T21:16:00.000-07:00

Sounds bad, huh?

It's not. It's what I am reading.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Go Ask Alice (author unknown)
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Forever by Judy Blume
Our Bodies, Ourselves by the Boston Women's Health Collective
My Darling, My Hamburger by Paul Zindel
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Manchild in the Promised Land by Claude Brown
Slaughterhouse-five or, The Children's Crusade by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
The Lottery by Shirley Jackson
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Ann Frank
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Deliverance by James Dickey
The Good Earth by Pearl Buck
A Hero Ain't Nothin' but a Sandwich by Alice Childress
The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty
A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
It's OK if You Don't Love Me by Norma Klein

The Great Dinner Experiment

2009-04-03T15:35:00.001-07:00

So, I mentioned that the kiddos were making dinner last night. No, it is not because I am a slave driver. I am trying to give them life skills. So, here's the story:

We sit down to dinner. I am so proud of myself. This is a gourmet healthy meal. Rock on, Binky! The kids were slightly underwhelmed with the fresh sea scallops sauteed in ghee served with fresh, local asparagus topped with homemade hollandaise sauce accompanied by basmati brown rice. Sounds really good, huh? It was stellar, in my eyes.

So, out of frustration of the children turning their little noses up on my dinner that I thought was oh-so-good, I devised a plan. I told the kids to put together two dinner menus. They needed to provide me with recipes, and ingredients for shopping. The catch was that each meal must include a lean protein, a fresh vegetable and if they were to include a starch, it would have to be a root vegetable or whole grain.

So, they went to work. Google was burning up that day, I am sure. My cook book collection got a thorough working over and I was presented with four pretty decent menus. I did the shopping and the cooking and it all went really well. So then I decided that not only did they need to see the planning that goes into a meal but the preparation side, too. So, this week, they both put together two dinner menus again. The catch this week was that they had to cook one on their own. Of course, I would be on hand for consultation and assistance as needed.

Austen made white chicken chili that was out of this world and super easy. It will definitely be made again. Tori picked chicken Caesar salad with home-made croutons. I helped her add a little zing to the dressing and showed her how to toss together croutons, but that was it. Once again, another awesome meal.

Since I've been doing this, they eat better, get more excited about flax seed tortillas than any teenager rightfully should and don't mind trying new vegetables! It has been a win-win-win situation. Next week I am going to start a rudimentary cooking school with them. We will start with stocks and soups and then move to sauces and gravies and onto basic preparation methods for meats and vegetables. It should be fun! I bet I will have two of the only teens who know what a mirepoix is!! or a bouquet garni!!! or the holy trinity of creole cooking! hahahaha it will be fun.

Oooooooooh and get this... this was a freaking jaw-dropping moment. I was feeling bad yesterday. I have been having some really rough days. Anyway, I told the kids that on the nights they made dinner I would do dishes (only fair right - they do them when I cook). So, I sat down for a bit after dinner in an attempt to actually keep the food inside me and while I was ruminating, Austen popped out of his room and told me he was going to do the dishes because I shouldn't have to do them when I feel icky. I think the apocalypse is on the horizon.

Great Days

2009-04-02T18:04:00.001-07:00

I have a lot of great days. There are ones where report cards come home or we celebrate momentous occasions. Those are wonderful, of course. The ones I cherish the most though, are the ones where nothing spectacular happens. Where I wake up to a lovey text from my missing husband. Then I hit the farmer's market and score lilies up the wazoo for $10. After that, I run my errands and they all go flawlessly and without incident. When I get home, the kids are ready to go to the gym with me, and they go. Then when they're there, they don't wander around aimlessly trying to make it look like they're working out. Instead, they actually work their butts pretty good. They set goals and meet them. Then when we get home, the dogs are being spastic freaks and playing wrestle mania with each other while I hop in the shower and the oldest makes dinner, with help from the youngest, all with very little direction from Mom.

What a stellar day. It could have been better; Tom could be here, but he is not. So, I am appreciating as it is. As frustrated as I get with the kids, they are good humans. They are becoming better humans, too. With lots of bumps, some bigger than others (that was a bad joke for those in the know). They are handling their lives with honesty and integrity though. They have given up trying to lie and that makes a huge difference in all communication. I still get frustrated. I do. Often. It's ok though, because if they continue on the paths they are currently on, they will get *there*. They will get to that place where I can let go and be proud of what we did.

So anyway... it's a good day.

OK, Done with the moping

2009-03-20T22:06:00.001-07:00

I've been in the pits for a bit. I got the 'end of deployment blues' and then the 'he's leaving again blues' and on top of that the 'doggie tail blues' and the 'two teenagers acting like toddlers blues' and the 'my tummy feels icky blues' all at the same time.

Wow. Bummer, huh?

I get swallowed by things at times and I'm so bad at expressing them, I do it here. Anyway, I'm done with that.

The deployment is over. He's gone again, but it won't be for long and he's not being shot at. The doggie is all better. When his fur grows back, he'll be golden (well he'll be yellow). The kids seem to be on the right path. Austen turned a major corner and that has made an immeasurable difference around here. Tori is here and dealing with some rough stuff, but I think she's dealing with it right. There could be some positives from her hardships, actually I know that it will be positive in the end, regardless of which way it turns out. Then, to top that all off, Eve - one of the bestest friends in the world - may have figured out what's been screwing with my insides for 2+ years.

Oh and lookie what I got these from my spectacularly wonderful husband:

today

2009-03-19T14:28:00.001-07:00

New Oceanside Sushi Restaurant

2009-03-15T22:32:00.000-07:00

Miso Harney Sushi

ahahahahahahahaha

Victoria

2009-03-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

Is coming home. Finally. I am very excited and anxious all at the same time. I pick her up at the airport tomorrow. She could use your thoughts/prayers/juju/white light or whatever you think might help. She's going through some big stuff.

I will keep you posted on how things go. If you don't hear from me for a while, send the MPs. Austen and her may conspire to put bury me in the back yard and keep the house to themselves. LOL!!

Missing My Friends...

2009-03-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

That was such a fun day. I am all nostalgic because today is Garrett's birthday. I think he is the only kid I've ever felt this deeply connected with that was not my own. I love all the Walter boys. They are all neat kids. Garrett is different because I got to know him so young and was there for so many FIRSTS in his life. I will never forget Jess coming to my house with some Pringles to show me that Garrett could walk. I will never forget driving that poor baby to the emergency room when my hand truck attacked him. Just so many things....

Miss you, Walter Family!

OK, OK, I suck

2009-03-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize it's been like for.ev.er. since my last post. But, but I have umm have good reason.

First, Tom was only home for 4 weeks. OK, that's not an excuse, but I'm using it. Secondly, I've been spending a lot of time on Justin's blog (see link on right side). It is time consuming, but I think it's so worth it to chronicle this time in his life. I think it's really a neat project. Thirdly, Little Bear has taken a bit of my effort lately. He had his surgery on Feb 28th. He's healing nicely and has a very, very cute little stub of a tail. I feel horrible, but it was something that was out of my control according to the numerous vets I spoke with. And lastly, I spend time writing Justin. If you read his blog, you will see that he really looks forward to mail and so I've been trying to send him a bunch lately.

I will be back with vengeance eventually.

More Pictures from the Arizona trip

2009-02-15T14:42:00.001-08:00

After a pitcher of beer (not by myself) - My eyebrow is falling again... WTF???

Two of my handsome boys

All three of my handsome boys

Me soaking wet. Yes, we got rained out in the middle of the desert.

Tanner making a goofy face.

This is what it's all about...

2009-02-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Tanner bein' Tanner:

Me and my boys:

All of my boys:

Some Miscellaneous Pictures from Recent Weeks

2009-02-01T23:15:00.000-08:00

The Bacon Explosion

The only person I would ever make something like the bacon explosion for:

The flowers I rec'd for my birthday. They're still so very gorgeous and smell like a dream.

An arrangement I picked up at the farmers' market for $5. Aren't those the most beautiful lilies? They had no scent though, and that is why I buy lilies.

White Dog/Black Dog (ok he's brown) living in harmony:

She was sick. I've slept in the restroom when I was sick before, too. I don't think she over did it on the tequila though. Maybe I should check. She might have watered down the bottle. Naughty kitty.

The Evil Eye:
as an aside, poor Batty is not speaking to us. She doesn't come out of the guest room at all, ever. Little Bear won't hurt her and he's smaller than Hershey. I think she's just protesting. Diva.

I love her eyes in this photo:

Music

2009-02-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

So, I added a music player on here. How fun. I can add any ole thing, but I won't add stuff that is rude. I promise.. lol. I highly urge you to go to the player and listen to "Runaway" by The Corrs. It's "our" song. How sweet!!! I am feeling goobery.

So, things are definitely calmer here today. It was nice. I am dreading the next week worth of hard decisions, but we will get it figured out. We are headed to Arizona next weekend to see Tanner. I am so excited. I have missed him sooooooo bad. For those of you who don't know Tanner, he is my youngest step-child. He lives with his mom in Lake Havasu City, AZ and he is a riot. I have a step-daughter, too. She is 18 and lives in Ohio with her boyfriend. She might (hopefully) come to live with us here soon. She has some big challenges on her plate and I think that being with us will help her make the best of things... but we will see! We all know how easy it is to reason with teenagers!

Hope you're all well.

Conspiracy???

2009-01-29T21:39:00.000-08:00

Little Bear's tail has a wound on it. Sorry if I've already explained this to you. The wound is on the very tip of his tail. Little Bear is a very hyper labrador. Guess how much he wags his tail. My house looked like a monochromatic Jackson Pollack painting for the last two weeks. Now its a dichromatic Jackson Pollack painting. See, the vet down the way told me to spray this stuff on it. It's blue. Well like deep purple really. It has gotten all over everything, including me. It's on the walls, the furniture and my legs.

The cat has started peeing in the sinks again. This time it probably saved her, though. See, there was blood in the sink. That means she has a bladder infection. Like I have NOTHING to do tomorrow... nails, tan, clean car, doctors appointments (yes two) and then all the hair and make-up and tweezing and all that fun stuff. Let's just slide vet in there.

goody, goody, goody.

This may be the greatest video ever...

2009-01-26T00:17:00.001-08:00

RAF

2009-01-22T18:33:00.000-08:00

Royal Air Force? No.

Random Acronym Frustration.

My kiddo... he's a special type of mind. Things that pop out of his mouth at times make me go, HUH??? Examples:

"Hey, Mom, did you FTD?"

"Is this month's NG here?"

"Yes, I DMC."

and on and on and on....

I don't mind one here and there. Liz does it on her blog and it's funny. Austen does it and it's just confusing.

Helen's Soup

2009-01-21T17:48:00.000-08:00

I think I turned most of you on to Margaret and Helen's blog. Well, not too long ago, Helen posted a recipe for carrot and peanut butter soup. Since the peanut butter in the jars is supposedly ok, I went for it.

It's purdy darn yummy. The original is linked above, but I will copy the recipe here, too.

Helen's Aunt Mary Lou’s Peanut Butter and Carrot Soup

1 large onion diced
1 stalk celery diced
2 lbs. carrots, peeled and diced
1 tsp. vegetable oil
6 cups chicken broth
1 tbs. Worcestershire Sauce
Juice of one large lime
2 tbs. peanut butter
salt/pepper to taste

Using one large stock pot, heat the onion, celery and carrots in the oil until soft. Add broth and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Add all other ingredients and continue soft simmer for 30 minutes. Remove from heat. Let cool for a bit and then use a blender to puree little by little until the entire stock is smooth. Return to pot to heat before serving. Tastes even better the second day!

I used an immersion blender, cus it is so much easier and so many less dishes. I also added some chicken after the blending, cus my kid requires meat something er other in everything.

Give it a try... it's yummy.

They make me laugh when I'm all alone...

2009-01-21T11:40:00.001-08:00

Well, it's for sure...

2009-01-16T14:35:00.000-08:00

Tom will be going to school March 1st. So, if he gets home by the first of February, we will have 4 weeks. It's hard. Really. Hard. to think of him leaving again so soon. It really makes me pissy about the whole move thing, too. How can Tom fraternize with the E8-9s that moved into our housing area when he isn't home?? Oh, and no one lives in my house yet.

Good gravy, my blog has been one constant woe-is-me thread, lately, huh? I guess I get in over my head and then don't know what to do. I have an extra doggie now, school, and Austen is not getting what he needs from me. So much for keeping the home-front calm while the hubby was deployed, eh?

I will get through all of this. I don't know how, but I will. I just wish I wasn't doing it alone. I am tired of being alone. Very, very tired.

edit because I was over-sharing. I am a retard sometimes. We are going to do what's right for everyone. Austen is very present and on board with the decision making. This is hard, but not unmanageable. We will not just survive, we will thrive.

Big Girl Panties

2009-01-13T12:28:00.000-08:00

I have them around here somewhere. I don't plan on wearing them today though. I am going to sulk today. Sulking is not healthy, by any means. I don't think it's particularly bad to sulk if you can acknowledge it though. I guess this is my new stance on life; unreasonable emotions are fine, as long as you're conscious of them.

hahahahahahahaha

That being said:

We're working on getting to Hawai'i. We think that the position there is something that Tom would like, living on the island for a few years wouldn't be too bad, Austen would finish high school there, it's tropical, if I can't do a brick and mortar PharmD program, we might as well be in paradise while I work my tushie off and the billet is non-deployable.

In order for Tom to take this billet, he may need to go to school. Not for sure, but it is likely. He has had some other schooling that may be commiserate and prevent it, but we don't know that yet. We're assuming he must go. So, in the big picture it is worth it.

The school is run twice a year. Tom should be home sometime around the first of February. The school starts in March. In DC. It runs through July. If we do the math, that would mean 45 days together in 18 months.

I am still pouting.

A Whole Day

2009-01-11T23:42:00.000-08:00

... just to recover from the visit. Seriously. A whole day to recenter myself and I am not even sure I am done. Is it wrong that I get worn out around family? My brother is really easy to handle. He's a mellow guy and I probably stress him out far more than he could ever stress me. The rest of em? Not so much.

I think I am a fairly decent person. I have some big quirks. I am so neurotic and I get all spun up about stuff, but I am generally good. I don't lie. I try to think of others first (I don't always succeed). I try to behave in a manner that conveys a level of integrity befitting my ethical standards.

There are members of my direct family that I do not ever care to see in person again. That's sad. It really is. Either I have grown to be such a callous and cold person that I can write off familial bonds that easily, or they merit that kind of write off. Either way, it's sad. Writing my dad out of my life was impossible, but once I did it, I felt so much better. Things were just easier in a lot of ways.

OK, so I am rambling... this all goes back to it taking a tremendous amount of energy for me to deal with my mother. I literally sat on my couch this morning and cried for no reason. Then when I was done I realized I was just emotionally worn out. She had been gone 16 hours at that point. I should have been AOK by then, but I wasn't. I know I am whining again. It's ok. I think this kind of acknowledgment is healthy, even if it is whiny. Two years ago I would have just fought with her and been in a bad mood for two weeks and not known why. So, I am evolving. This writing of stuff seems to help me process. That's why you all have to lulled into a coma by reading it.

So, when do we stop being worn out by our parents? Or do we ever? Sometimes I wonder how in the hell I made it this far, hahahaha. I definitely have a blessed life these days and that is a result of every step prior, so I wouldn't change any of it. I just want to avoid future lost days and visitations filled with tension. Can you have a purely telephonic maternal/child relationship?

Because Liz said so, and she's the Queen of bloggyland.

2009-01-11T12:00:00.001-08:00

Fourth folder, fourth picture. This could have been really bad, Liz. Be careful what you ask for! hahahaha This is a great picture though. We were at Boomers playing goofy golf. We have some free tickets. We might just go again today.

I'm not going to tag anyone... cus I'm all anti-authoritarian and stuff.

Food..

2009-01-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

I will eventually sit down and write a real blog about this...

Anyway, the basics on meat:

CAFO - Condensed Animal Feeding Operation. These are horrid. They keep animals inside and confined. They can be organic. They can be superfund sites.

Chicken - 45 days from egg to fryer when on hormones.

Pig - Kept so that they can stand and lay but not turn around or walk.

Beef - given rBGH/rBST and mostly fed grains, which is not their natural diet.

Fish - farmed salmon - bad - they eat their own feces - other fish? I don't know much about.

Dairy - Organic is better, but it can still be a CAFO product. I try to buy Organic Valley because they support Heifer International and family farms.

Oh and Monsanto - the debil. They make chemicals and grow a huge percentage of food. They have lobbyists and control jobs and many small-town economies.

High fructose corn syrup is to be avoided, IMO because of the environmental processes and impact. It has been correlated to many chronic health problems, but correlation is not cause/effect. They put it in tomato soup, bread and a plethora of other products.

I try to focus on eating local and happy. Nothing should be tortured for my sustenance, as far as I am concerned.

Some time I will write more.. not today though.

This makes me get cavitites it's so sweet...

2009-01-10T23:24:00.001-08:00

Cute things falling asleep...

Flikr Game...

2009-01-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

Looked interesting...

Go to Flickr. Type the answer to each question in the search box. You can only use pictures from the first page that comes up. Have fun!

What's your name?

What's your favorite food?

Where did you go to school?

And then?

And then?

Who's your celebrity crush? (I guess you will have to figure out which one...)

Who's your favorite Disney princess?

What's your favorite drink?
Everyday:

Alcoholic:

Dream Vacation:

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you love most in life?
(I think it's funny that Liz got the same picture for a totally different question)

What do you dream about?

Thanks, Liz!!

2009-01-03T17:20:00.001-08:00

Tom finally emailed... thankfully. I guess he has gold jump wings now.

Making the blog was fun...

The background is a bit cheesy, but it is something that Tom said to me once, when I was still a commitmentphobe, "Don't worry, Binks. I will love you always and forever." So, with his impending return... it hit a heart string... to say the least.

Boot Camp

2009-01-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, my older baby brother is going away to boot camp. I have always wanted to refer to him as my baby brother, but he is actually older than me... so that explains the descriptor.

We always had Justin pegged for military service. It was something that just fit for him. After he got older, we knew that window had closed and he would just have to be content gathering up an arsenal and living in the boonies in Idaho (no this is not something out of Deliverance). Once, when he was 28 he went to the good ole USMC and tried to join up. He was 5 days too late. They told him if he had signed a contract before he actually turned 28 he would have been good to go. Another time, he attempted to join the Coast Guard and they told him the same thing, "Sorry, dude. You're just too old."

Well the US Armed Forces recently changed their age limits. The USMC changed to 32, still not quite high enough. However, the Army changed their age limit to 42. I think Justin went in the day after he found out they had changed the age limit. He is all signed up and ready to go. He leaves January 15th. He is doing basic at Ft Knox in TN and is contracted to come out as an E3. He has a degree, so not sure why he is not going officer, other than maybe at his age he can only go enlisted. Or maybe the position that he is going after is enlisted only? I don't know. He's going to be a Calvary Scout.

Next week, Justin and my mom are showing up (can you feel the joy in my words) to deliver Little Bear to me. Little Bear is a 6 year old Yellow Labrador who is much more spastic than Hershey ever thought about being. hahahahahahah I am actually looking forward to Justin and Bear being here; it's my mom's visit that worries me. I get really tense when she's in my home. I feel so judged. Like every dang thing in my home is not good enough.

So, that's the news at my house. On another front, my house is finally put together. I've not registered for classes yet, so I might be taking underwater basket weaving or some crazy crap, who knows.

Oh! Will one of you wonderfully talented ladies explain to me how I can personalize my blog? Your pages are all so pretty and mine is just lame (this is the story of my life). Thanks!

Happy New Year, everyone. Much love to you all...

2008 in review

2008-12-31T00:52:00.000-08:00

What a year it has been! OMG!

January started out with a house full of guests and then Tom's departure. I proceeded to start school and quit smoking and then got busy on the diet. I took an epic road trip over the summer, started a new semester and spent a weekend in DC and then two weeks in heaven with my darling Tom. Came home to moving and boxes.

I'm almost settled in the new house (yes, it took me 2 months) and am about to start my 3rd semester. I've volunteered to foster my brother's dog while he goes off to boot camp (he's 37) in January and am anxiously awaiting Tom's return.

2009 looks to be another exciting year. Tom coming home, another move and all sorts of fun and excitement.

I live a blessed life. While this last year has been hard, it has made me appreciate Tom and my family more than I ever knew I could. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I hope your New Year is blessed and joyous....

See you in 09.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-27T22:44:00.001-08:00

Auntie Margie, her husband Ernie, me
and Austen and Kianti, Ernie's daughter.

and a body shot, even though it's from the back side... lol

For Liz

2008-12-23T21:31:00.000-08:00

This was before I got to my biggest. Kinzie (on the right) is like a size 4 and my mom wears a 0. I was then about a 20.

I put on a 12 slack today though!

In response...

2008-12-17T16:37:00.000-08:00

Thanks for reminding me that not everyone thinks my neurosis is just wrong.

Judy, I am really glad you said something. I appreciate the third party aspect a lot. I am also flattered that you read...

Michelle, you're right. I don't want friends that can't handle the truth.

Liz, I guess it doesn't bother me that someone says, "I'm sorry." It is HOW it is said that bugs me. Some people just have a way that is so diminutive. That bugs me immeasurably. This particular incident was bad. It was like I was instantly subhuman because I subjected the person to my reality.

And, about my husband being awesome... I cannot ever explain to you how awesome he really is. He is the first person (other than my son) that I *know* loves me just for me. He chooses to spend his life with me despite my quirks. Some in my family do love me, but I always wonder if they love me just cus I am family, ya know? I don't wonder that with Tom. Before I knew him I was a weak and meek person. He didn't change me, but he made me safe enough to dig out of the trenches and look at my life. The gift he has given me is life-changing.

Lipstick (an ammendment to eyeliner)

2008-12-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

OK, I need to explain my last post. Actually I should probably delete it, but I am not going to. It started out as a self-deprecating post. Why can't I put on eyeliner? Why can't I keep my silly little mouth shut? Why can't I understand that people don't want to really know others? Why do I just not get social nuance? Why am I as dense as cement some (most) of the time? Then it all spiraled out of control with the mouth part.

I was speaking with someone and said something about not liking Christmas because it was always another opportunity for my parents to fight about me and then my dad hurt Austen in a big way. You could see this person literally bristle and tense up. They looked at me and said I just can't think about those things. I need to make new traditions. I need to forget that bad stuff and make happy memories. I just get really pissy when I am told that I just need to forget about things and move forward.

All of this seems to go back to things Morgan just can't comprehend. Why do I need to deny my past? Why should I NOT talk about my childhood? Why should I pretend that I get any type of warm and fuzzy from thinking about childhood holidays?

I hate this holiday. Truly really effing hate it. If you know me, I never use the word hate for anything. With Tom it is much more tolerable because I can focus on the here and now, but I just don't have that this year. I hate having to send Christmas cards to people I don't even like. I hate buying gifts because you're supposed to. I hate the tree. I hate the lights. I hate all of it.

Anyway, the 'you' was empirical, not direct. It's just silly little Binky shaking her fists at the things she doesn't understand. I just don't like being superficial. If you ask me a question, why shouldn't I answer it truthfully??? Why should I sugar coat the truth to make you (the other person) comfortable when being superficial and lying makes ME uncomfortable.

Eyeliner

2008-12-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

It's one of the finer points of being a woman that I have never figured out. I asked Eve to show me once, she never got me to understand. Professional make up ladies have tried. I just do.not.get.it. It looks pretty, though. I try and try but just never master it.

I don't get secrecy either. Some things are *meant* to be secret, or at least private, but I can't seem to muster enough strength to keep my thoughts, etc to myself. It makes people really uncomfortable when I talk about abuse like any of my other childhood memories. It makes them say, "I'm sorry." and stuff like that. I don't feel the need to congratulate people for good things in their childhood, why do they have to apologize for the bad stuff in mine. It bugs me that I have to censor myself to oblige the comfort of others. Why can't I talk about the Christmas that my father almost killed my son? You get to talk about the Christmas that made you love the holiday.

So, to everyone... I am *really* sorry my history makes you uncomfortable. It is a part of who I am though. It walks with me every day and probably will forever. I have an amazing life now and am blessed with awesome friends and family around me. However, the past doesn't vanish.

Done, done. done.

2008-12-11T00:19:00.000-08:00

Thank the powers that be!!! I just finished my last paper. I have two to turn in tomorrow (both biggies) and that's IT! I do have one paper to do basic revisions and edits on for next week, and one little assignment, but other than that the big work is done.

I have never felt so relieved. The finals next week should go well. Only one to worry about is the Psyc final. I really, really need to get a 96 or better on it. So, I think I am going to pour myself a glass of wine and then drift off to sleep. I might actually be present around here next week. If things go well, the tree in my living room might get lights on it this weekend (it's only been standing in here a week).

Oh, and Tom comes home NEXT MONTH. That makes my heart sing.

Margaret and Helen

2008-11-22T16:52:00.000-08:00

An online friend of mine posted a link to the breastfeeding blog. I read that and laughed pretty heartily. I started digging through the archives and absolutely fell in love with them.

My grandmother, Nana, is 85 years old today. Her baby sister, Auntie June, is about 83ish and Nana's best friend. These two remind me so much of them.

Anyway, I am glad I was able to spread their joy. Oh, and Liz, I agree with you about wanting to be like them when I grow up.

Total side note, sitting here at my dining room table, looking out the back windows and the sky is ablaze with reds and purples above the harbor/ocean. I figured you all would appreciate how pretty it is. I can't wait to see the sunsets in Hawaii.

I'm in love with Margaret and Helen...

2008-11-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

This was posted on that same forum I mentioned before today and I've effectually wasted most of my day reading the different posts. I love them.

Go, enjoy. Know that it will eat up your day...

Margaret and Helen, bloggers in their 80s.

Footnote

2008-11-14T21:26:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that next time I make these cookies (oh yes size 12 jeans, there will be a next time - you can wait for me just a while longer) I will put either some lemon zest or lemon juice in. I think it would just make them perfect. They already are melt in your mouth good. I wouldn't put enough in them to make them lemon cookies, just a hint to make them... well I dunno.. they just seemed to need it.

Yum, yum, yum (aka do NOT make these)

2008-11-14T20:51:00.000-08:00

In St Louis, they have a regional favorite called the gooey butter cake. It's quite good. A St Louisian posted this recipe on a forum I frequent. I made them tonight. They're very, very good. Make you get a tummy ache good.

Gooey Butter Cookies

1 stick butter, softened (not margarine - do you have to say that anymore? Are people still eating that plastic stuff?)

8 oz. cream cheese - room temperature

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract (I used more cus I always do)

1 egg

1 18 oz. box Duncan Hinds golden butter cake mix

powdered sugar

Mix together butter, cream cheese, vanilla and egg, then add cake mix and blend well. Chill dough for several hours or overnight; dough is easier to work with when it's chilled.

Heat oven to 400. Roll chilled dough into 1 inch (or smaller - do NOT make them bigger) balls; roll in powdered sugar before dropping onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes; Until starting to turn golden on top. Remove cookies from sheet and transfer to racks to cool. Sprinkle additional powdered sugar on top of cookies. Enjoy!

English 201 - Critical thinking and literature analysis

2008-11-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

You're kidding me, right? My English teacher marked off on my paper the word 'wont'. The actual sentence was, "as cattle are wont to do" (it was a reference to Frost's poem Mending Wall) and she told me it was wrong. That it should be want, and not won't. I tried to explain to her that wont was very different than won't and want. I ended up pulling out a dictionary (yes I travel with one) to show her. She told me, "You're blowing my mind." She also told me that I misused 'onerous' and 'epitaph' in another paper. Those are a little more obscure so I wasn't upset about those. However, I am not wont to use words inappropriately. I don't think anyway. I told her I could spell and define litigious, too. She didn't think that was as funny as I did.

I guess because of my upbringing or something, I don't get upset when a person criticizes me. If you tell me I can improve, I think you care more about me than if you lie and say all is fine and good. My English instructor obviously does not feel the same way about such things. While she is very smart and can talk about literature for days, I think she should have a much firmer grasp upon her native tongue. She has taught me a little about reading into literary works, but has taught me next to nothing about the structure of the English language, which is the backbone of the course even if it is critical thinking.

See, just read that rambling mess. I need help with written English structure. Anyone care to help me?

The Bed War

2008-11-03T16:29:00.000-08:00

This is some funny stuff:

I bought Hershey this wonderful, snuggly, comfy bed at BigLots last week. It's like a giant pillow with fuzzy stuff and it's big enough for him to stretch out on. I was so excited. We've passively looked for a good bed at a reasonable price for him for a while.

Too bad Callie says he can't use it:

So, I went back to BigLots to buy another bed. Well I went there HOPING they had another one, because that's the kind of store it is. Well, I struck it rich. They had another one! Albeit it was smaller and red, but I figured Callie wouldn't mind too much. Things went well...

For a little while anyway... then it degenerated. I about died laughing. Poor Hershey is pussy whipped... no pun intended... I swear.

Doesn't he look utterly pathetic on that little tiny bed next to her on the great big one???

White Flag Waving

2008-11-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

I give up. I don't want to unpack. I don't want to go to school. I want to sleep' for a very, very long time.

Someday I will post more of the utterly fabulous photos from our amazing trip to FL...

Perfection

2008-10-06T20:30:00.001-07:00

I love this man...

We heard this song on the way to breakfast our first morning here:

I think I might cry...

2008-09-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a cold sore on my mouth. I don't get them too often and usually they're in my nose (weird right?) which sucks royally and is more painful, but at least they can't be seen.

Tom's about to leave Kuwait. I see him in three days. If there was a god, this would not happen. So very effed up. I want to cry.

(I am taking the pills, but I am almost out. Of course it's Sunday and I can't get any more.... so hopefully I can get more in the morning...)

Just Because

2008-09-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

I am helplessly addicted to LOLCATS and LOLDOGS. It's kind of funny considering I don't typically like cheesy humor. This one made me cackle.

What a great trip!

2008-09-12T17:12:00.001-07:00

Thursday evening was very bumpy here in our house. I thought I might have to kill the child, so I didn't have great expectations for the trip, unfortunately. Regardless, we were going.

We had a pretty good flight on Friday, got settled quite easily and found our hotel. All pretty simple, except for my throat hurting and my sinuses starting to throb.
Picture of Austen on the plane:

Saturday pretty much sucked. I was sick and it rained. and rained. and rained. Hannah was not nice to us, but much nicer than to all of my southern friends. So, we did get out a bit and do some driving around. We stumbled upon the Iwo Jima Memorial. It's so big. I guess I never realized. We also happened upon Ft. Myer. We drove around there a bit. It's so neat to see the old bases (posts) because they are so vastly different than good ole Camp Pendleton.
The Memorial in the Rain:

Sunday we got out and saw a lot, well after we drove around looking for a parking spot. Austen actually found one, he's got a good eye. We went to several Smithsonian Museums, the Capitol, Washington Monument and the WWII memorial. All of it quite gorgeous, as most of you know:
The Smithsonian Castle:

Austen at the Air & Space Museum:

The Capitol:

Austen at the Natural History Museum:

A photo to make you go, "Awwwwwweeeeeeee!":

Me at the Washington Monument:

So Monday I got all dressed up and stood next to the Treasury in the hot sun for several hours, then went to the front (South) lawn of the White House and listened to the Shrub babble. I was thoroughly underwhelmed, but I can claim to have been on the White House grounds, I suppose. His remarks can be found here, if you're interested.
Here's my self portrait at the White House:

I had someone else take a picture of me, too. I like the one above better, though:

After the White House, Austen and I went and found some grub, then hit some more sites. We went to the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial. I did not think that would have any affect on me, however, I bawled. A. Lot.

On to the Lincoln Memorial (Wow):

When we were leaving the Lincoln Memorial, we ran across this little squirrel. Notice how he's flat on his belly. He scooted around like that. He ran, too. So, he wasn't injured, just fat and funny:

And Arlington, I cried a lot more. It is so amazing. I'd never been there before. I've always said that I wanted to be cremated, but if the hubster wanted us to be buried there, I would be good with that. It would be an amazing place to be ad infinitum.:

The Tomb of the Unknowns:

Next we visited was the Thomas Jefferson Memorial, which was gorgeous. We were there around sunset and able to see the sunset over the Tidal Basin...

On Tuesday, we got up early and drove down to Quantico to see the Marine Corps Museum. Wow, simply wow. How very cool. Then we met my dear friend Khris for lunch and talk. It was *so* good to reconnect with her. I've missed her so much. I forget how easy conversation is with Khris. We won't let the communication slide like that again, ok?

So, sorry for the massive update, but it is what it is....

lots of love,
binks

We're off!

2008-09-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

Headed to DC in the morning! Can't wait. Will be a fun trip. Site-seeing will be great but getting to see Khris takes the cake!

Will update with photos upon our return....

The New Skipjack Lane

2008-08-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

I thought I had posted pics and a link before, but it was just a picture and no link! Silly me.

Anyway here we go:

This is the new Skipjack standing near where the pool is (my house is at the very endon the left) These are all one story homes, but most of the community is comprised of two story homes. The one stories are field grade quarters or disabled accessible homes.

Here's another of the street. My house is centered in the photo. You can see the two story homes off to the back right of the photo and you can see Koelper Street back there, too.

And for more photos of *my* house (the interior and such) you can check them out here. I will try to get down there and take more pictures of the community at large for y'all.

The White House

2008-08-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

So, I've been invited to the White House to attend an event for volunteers. The President will be there and be giving a speech. The event will be held on the South Lawn. I don't know how to dress.

I was raised by pinko, commie, liberal, tree-huggin, leftists. I am married to a fairly centrist republican. I am somewhere in between those two identities. I have a bleeding heart, but I still believe in your right to bear arms (or bare arms if they don't look like mine). I guess you could call me a Libertarian. I believe in small government and protecting our own first.

I am not Bush's biggest fan, you could say.

Is it hypocritical to attend an event thrown by a man you loathe just to garner the once-in-a-lifetime experience of attending an event at his (ultra historic amazing) home?

I'm confounded.

Falling into place

2008-08-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

Well, some things are getting settled, which is nice. I have a move date. School starts tomorrow and Austen's school just needs a bit more to fall into place. Stress has lowered immensely.

I am a bit nervous about school, but not like I was last semester. I am actually more excited to get it going and done with than any other emotion.

We still don't have orders, but I think there is a decent chance that we're headed Hawaii's way. If we do, Tom will have to do a 5 month school in VA, which kind of upsets me, but I will deal. At least he will be able to fly home and we can visit him. DC is a whole lot more accessible than Fallujah these days. This also means we might get a bit longer in our house here in Cali.

I don't have much desire to stay in California, it's really not my kind of place. However, schooling here is ridiculously inexpensive and that is important to me these days. So, if we stayed even one extra semester, it could save us thousands.

Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend.

Scattered, Stressed and Excited...

2008-08-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

Well, two weeks since a post. Not sure why, I haven't done a damn thing in the last two weeks. So, here is two weeks worth of blabbing:

We're supposed to move. They've delayed it until the beginning of September. I start school the 25th of August. I may have a trip to the east coast the first part of September. I have a trip to Florida the first two weeks of October (Tom's R&R and Eve's wedding *squeeeeeeeee*). I'm not sure when they CAN move me. It's so very frustrating. I just wish that these last three-four weeks that I've been sitting on my ass could have been spent setting up the new house. Not to mention that the longer they put off moving us, the less time we will be in that house. If we moved NOW, we wouldn't be there a year. So, if things get pushed until October, we might be there 7-8 months. That's an awfully short time (Liz, you're feeling this, I am sure).

I feel like my hands are tied. I keep going through things in my house to feel like I am accomplishing something, anything. It's not working. I feel like a lump. Other than having somewhat of a social life lately, my life is totally stagnant right now. I know it's not going to stay that way. It's some kind of effed up juxtaposition.

I've gotten everything handled that I can. I guess that is good. The only thing I am behind on is reading, but I am always behind on my reading. I buy books faster than I can feasibly read them. Sorta silly. Some people collect black and white cows or coins or what-have-yous; I collect books. It's a good thing.

That's where I am right now. Poised and ready to pounce but worried I am going to need to pounce in 8 directions at one time. I am blessed to have such great things going on in my life.

Tagged:

2008-08-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

10 years ago:
I had just moved from Ketchum to Boise, ID. I was 22, Austen was 4 and we were just trying to eek out a life for ourselves.

5 years ago:
Falling in love with the most amazing man ever. Right after this, we decided to start shackin' up like two crazy kids.

5 months ago:
umm, enmeshed in school and the mundane. I really am more exciting than my life. I swear.

5 things on my list of things to do tomorrow:
1. Douche the kitchen. I need to get rid of a bunch of stuff before the move and I am going room-by-room to achieve this. I bought some really great new JA Henckle's flatware that I am very excited about. It's quite opulent looking... LOL
2. Two boxes of misc papers and stuff in the laundry room. They need my attention.
3. Laudry
4. Dining Room swabbing.
5. Lounge aggressively. Napping might be involved.

5 bad habits:
1. I'll get to this later (procrastination)
2. Not taking my make-up off before I go to bed.
3. Negative self-talk. When Tom's home, he reminds me to not do it. When he's away, I dogcuss myself at times.
4. Interrupting. I really, really try. I do.
5. Picking at my face.

5 places I’ve lived:
1. Ketchum, Idaho
2. Hyde Park, Vermont
3. Bend, Oregon
4. Destin, Florida
5. Mountain Top, Pennsylvania

5 things people don’t know about me
1. I'm scared in social situations. I am super-extroverted, but I am totally unsure of myself.
2. I go to the tanning bed just to be super hot. The tan is just gravy.
3. I basically raised myself.
4. I love all vegetables except green bell peppers.
5. I am compelled to own books. Libraries tease me. I hate how books from the library smell. I want to own every book I ever read so that when I can grab it at any time.

Tagged:
1. You! (I have a very small blog circle, sorry)

Crappy day with a good ending...

2008-07-27T01:28:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30, again. Yeah, I am a confirmed night owl. I doubt this will ever change.

So, after capping things off last night about 2am and then reading for a while (an hour or so) I drifted off to sleep somewhere around 3:30ish. I was awoken this morning to some kid beating on my bedroom window. I am not sure what the little tyrant was using, but it sounded like a stick or something. Of course, this didn't please Hershey which prompted him to bark at the sleep terrorist. After tossing and turning for about 35 minutes with no success in falling back to sleep. I arose. I had been in bed for all of 6 hours, meaning I got about 5 hours sleep. Did I mention that I don't do well without sleep? Like really, do.not.function. So I pissed and moaned around the house all day. Being pissed off at the world is a stressful undertaking.

I took all of that mad energy and focused it on my bedroom. I tore apart every drawer, etc. I went through everything, again. I got my closet buffed out, and even pulled all of the clothing out of the guest room to go through.

Austen got all miffed, so I sent him to his room where he cried and cried and begged forgiveness. Evidently when I said, "You need to go to your room for the night." I was not clear in what I meant. I meant, "You need to go to your room for the night." After listening to him for quite a while, I played on the computer and dorked around the house again. Then decided to head to bed.

"Oh crap!" I had forgotten that there was a pile of clothing on my bed. So I figured I might as well dive into it. I tried on everything. Most all of it fit. That rocks. Things that I haven't worn since 2001 and earlier fit me again! I even got into a pair of old Calvin Klein size 14 jeans. I haven't worn those since I was 22-23ish. Yes, that's ten years. Yes, I realize it is weird to cart around jeans that don't fit you for ten years, but I did it. Now, don't misunderstand me. They were tight as heck. I will not be wearing them out in public anytime soon, but I got them on and buttoned them. I also got on some of my dress slacks that are 14s. There is a huge disparity in sizing between designers. My Ann Taylor 14s fit pretty darn good. the Larry Levine were snug, but not too tight. My AF jeans were doable, but probably too tight to be comfortable.

Anyway, which brand pants fit me is not relevant to this post. What IS relevant is that in January my size 20 pants were TOO TIGHT. 20 - 14 since Tom's been gone. That made up for the kid beating on my dang window this morning at the unholiest of hours.

It's 2am

2008-07-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

and I am doing math. Not for a class or anything, but for school. I am realizing just how much this education I am pursuing is going to cost me. I am sorta freakin' out. I know that I looked up all of these interesting little tidbits before I went and registered for my very first class last spring. However, the information must not have sunk in. It's certainly sinking in right now. It's sinking in $150,000 deep. That's just tuition. Yeah, just tuition. There is SO much more on top of that.

It's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it. If you say it three times, it has to be true, right?

This is the program I am working towards. I think it is really the only option that will mesh with my husband's career and our geographic limitations. We will be moving next summer and then again 3-4 years later. Oh, and guess what else? The average GPA of students entering the program is higher than 3.8. ummm, whoa....

And this, my friends, was a message brought to you by too much ice tea late at night.

Busy Week

2008-07-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

So, I am getting ready for the big move back to Del Mar. I am pretty excited to have a nice house in a nice location. We had the ratty house in the nice location and now we have the nice house in the ratty location. Put the two together for a slice of heaven, eh? If it were only going to last more than a year or so... lol. Oh well. Being married to the Corps means you don't get too comfortable, eh?

Yesterday I bought a decent china hutch. It's older and a little beat up, but it will work until we settle someplace where I can have investment quality furniture. No point in letting nice things get beat to crap. Today, I took the wrought iron bed that my great grandfather, grandfather, father, uncles, brother and now son have slept on to the powder coating place. My husband assures me that powder coating is better than painting. Can anyone confirm this? Anyway, she sent me back home to polish all the brass accents on it first so that she can give me a complimentary clear coat so that they never have to be polished again. I think she might be a saint. I hate polishing metal (hence the aforementioned china hutch). The bed has been green, red, blue, and black. I think I am going to have them do it a dark cherry red. It is just pretty like that. Plus, every dang wrought iron bed you see is either black or white and that is just boring. The other colors seem a bit to collegiate for me, though. At least red is easy enough to coordinate.

Tomorrow I am going to go get all registered for school. I was supposed to do it today, but they were short on counselors and heavy on students. I didn't see any point in waiting.

The next few months of life are going to be hectic and this makes me smile. That means the time will fly until I see Tom. October 1 we should see each other. That's just TEN weeks from today!!! OMG!! I am so deliriously excited that I can hardly see straight. I am a bit worried that the two weeks is going to fly by way too fast and make the subsequent three months drag by. I hope with every little fiber of my being that this is his last deployment. Although, he told me last night that if he gets this gig in Oahu, he will be going to school for 18 weeks. 18 weeks is a long damn time... grrrrrrrrrrrrr.... oh well. At least he won't be in another country that has no commercial air service. I will be able to visit him at will.

Other than that, here's a picture of our new house:

Freezer Foods for Fisch

2008-07-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

Meatballs:

1 pound ground beef (use soy crumbles in place of part of this if you’re going to use them)
1 pound Italian pork sausage (as spicy as you like)
1.5 cups bread crumbs (I use the progresso seasoned ones)
1-1.5 cups parmesan
1-2 eggs (just so that it clumps nicely)
Basil, oregano, thyme, etc to your taste
Crushed garlic (3-5 cloves depending on strength)
Course salt to taste
Ground black pepper to taste

Roll into balls, pan sear and then bake in oven for an hour at about 375. Or pan sear then freeze. Or place in stock pot and slow cook in sauce.

If you make really big meatballs, you can slice them for meatball sandwiches, which is awesome. Or you can use the slices in lasagna, which is fabulous, too.

Ham and bean soup

Soak beans overnight and drain (I usually use one small bag)
Add stock to cover (tell me if you don’t make your own stock, it’s so easy and SOOOOOOOO much better). I use chicken or veggie, but beef or tomato would work, too.
Add a couple of smoked ham hocks
Add onions, celery and garlic that have been sautéed until soft in olive oil
Cut pork steak into small (bite sized) chunks and add to soup
Salt and pepper to taste

Red beans and rice is pretty much the same as ham and beans. You cook the red beans like the beans above, but use some more spice (Tony's Chachere's) and take it up a notch. Also, the guys like andouille sausage in it, but I prefer without. So, I just add that on each serving as I dish it out.

Chicken soup is a cake walk, I know you can make that. Add any old thing to some good chicken stock and all is well. Dumplings and noodles can be added after you thaw it to use.

Things like chicken cordon bleu can be assembled ahead of time and frozen, too. Chicken cordon bleu is pounded chicken breast with a piece of ham and swiss cheese inside. Then you roll it, dip it in flour then egg then a bread crumb/parmessan crusting. After that you pan sear and then bake. It can be frozen cooked or raw. It's good either way.

Other than that, my dear, there are all types of soups, etc that you can freeze. I had the most amazing soup up in San Fran last month. Chicken stock, dungenous crab, cilantro, green onion, water chestnuts... wowsers! I bet you could freeze that, too!

I have a few ready-made things that I buy as entrees and pair with fresh veggies or a salad for a quick meal, too. Schwan's has a few fish entrees that are really nice. Also, I really like stuffed shells and things like that from the freezer section. Oh, one other thing that I put together and freeze for a quick meal is stir fry. When I am making it for our dinner one night, I chop twice as much and freeze half. This way I can just toss it in the wok and go to town on a night where I have no time.

If I think of more, I will put them on here, too.

Destin and St Louis

2008-07-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

Both of these trips were tremendously fun. Seeing one of my best friends did my heart a world of good. Seeing her blissfully happy and in love made me ecstatic. Here's a silly self-portrait after way too much champagne (and maybe a couple of shots?):

St Louis is an amazing city. I really did not expect to be struck by the city. The ballpark there is amazing and the arch is righteous. This shot is my fave:

This one is pretty darn cool, too:

All-in-all this has been an amazing trip. I am ready to be headed home, though. I'm going to spend a bit of time in Idaho, a day in SLC and head back to *my* house. I will enjoy it for a couple of weeks then we have to freaking move. Yay. I am actually pretty excited about the move, but it is always such a pain in the ass to move... grrrrrrr

Oh and here's a picture just for Tom:

Having Too.Much.Fun!

2008-07-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

If that were possible. Since my last post, I've traveled a LOT. I am currently in St Louis, MO expecting one of the biggest fireworks displays in the country. Should be fun. I am trying to get all of my photos uploaded, but there are just so darn many. Sleep seems to be the thing that takes precedent when I have extra time.

So, I am off to nap for a bit before I head out for the evening!

Hope this 4th of July finds you all safe and happy. FYI - Yesterday, July 3, was my amazing, fabulous, handsome husband's 23 anniversary as a member of the USMC. I am so proud to be a part of this journey of his.

Traveling On...

2008-06-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

Well, we're comfortably lounging in our hotel in Bend, OR. The family reunion was great. My aunt and I got wrapped into hosting the next one... (wtf??). Bend is really different from when I lived here, but still pretty and quaint.

We're headed to Boise today to see my almost 85 year old grandmother. I probably won't be online much for a week or so because my next travels are going to be less hotels and more houses.

Hope you're all having a wonderful summer thus far!

Another Amazing Day...

2008-06-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

...then again any day where I see new stuff is amazing. We drove from Eureka to the Redwood Nat'l forest and then up to Gold Beach, OR and over this nice little road (so the map says) to Grant's Pass, OR.

Well that damn road was not nearly as nice as the map portrayed, and it didn't get bad until it was too far in to turn around. One lane. Not one fat lane where you drive in the middle and move to the side when you pass a car. No. Not. That. One skinny, tiny little lane. Parts of the road were roped off because the dirt under the road way had slid down the 4000 foot drop off and the blacktop was crumbling away. Then there was snow. Yeah. Snow.

It was stunningly beautiful. I mean make you weep gorgeous.

When I pulled off that road, I felt my entire upper body start throbbing. I had been so tense that I had worn out my muscles. I am sure that I will be sore tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow; we're going to Crater Lake which is a very unique place and quite amazing itself. From there we head up to Crooked River Ranch for the Family Reunion. Have I told you all that half of my family are wild, crazy, hippie, party-animals and the other half are very strict, law abiding Mormons? I think they (the Mormon portion) twitch when we put Bailey's in our double roasted espresso. I twitch when the cousin who is my age introduces me to the 2-3 more children she's had since the last reunion. I think she's up to 10 or so now.

It's always fun, and I am not even joking. Some how we all get along and accept the crazy differences. It's kind of weird though, since the relationship with this family is fairly convoluted anyway. My maternal grandmother was the daughter of the matriarch of this family. However, her mother was killed when she was 3 (as was her dad) and never really had any contact with these folks. Yet, we all still get together every 2 years in random places throughout the western United States.

I doubt that CRR has WiFi. So there will be no blogging. Also, I am having a humdinger of a time getting pictures uploaded from the PC to the public folder with these crappy WiFi connections in the hotels. You just might have to wait.

Hope you're all doing well.

Nor Cal

2008-06-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

Wow... Wow... Wow....

There is nothing like Coastal Redwoods. We haven't even made it to the actual park yet (we're currently in Eureka) and what we've seen so far is incredible. I know I saw these trees as a kid, but they didn't have the impact on me, evidently. I drove THROUGH a tree today. The thick groves of old-growth Coastal Redwoods are magical. I feel like an intruder when I am amongst them. It must be how an ant feels in my home. It's just so bizarre. They are amazing, amazing organisms.

I cannot wait for tomorrow!!! I will upload and post pictures soon.

Some Pictures

2008-06-16T23:34:00.001-07:00

Austen at Alex & Janet's home:

The trees at A&J's:

Lombard Street:

Headed into China Town:

In China Town:

me too:

The Bridge:

My Fave of the Bridge:

Me and Juliann:

Frisco

2008-06-16T08:05:00.001-07:00

Wowsers....

I haven't been to this area of California for a million years. We got in to the Bay Area Saturday evening. We were greeted by Alex and Janet with open arms into their new home. Their beautiful son is a delight and I was so honored to get to hang out with him! Their home is situated on the side of a mountain in the middle of a coastal redwood forest (new growth <100 years old - still the tallest trees I've seen in 20 years). The entire side of their house is windows. It's STUNNING!!! We had the most yummy soup ever (chicken broth with a touch of soy and fish sauce with chopped asparagus, green onions, cilantro, pea shoots and king crab) for dinner and spent the evening chatting.

Then it was time to go to bed. Changed our clothes and brushed our teeth. I was camping on the fold-out sofa in the living room. I curled into the down mattress topper and down duvet that were provided to me and looked up. I had not realized that there were two MASSIVE skylights in the living room, directly above the aforementioned sofa. The moon is nearing full. I cannot describe to you the amazing beauty that filled my vision as I drifted off to slumberland. Seriously, you could not be pissed off living in that house. You just could NOT.

We're up in SF proper today. We're staying on Lombard, which is infamous. I think we will hit china town and the trolleys today. We're going to go to the exploratorium tomorrow... I'm stoked!!!

Head 'em up, Move 'em out!

2008-06-12T11:41:00.000-07:00

Rawhide....

oh, not really....

Austen and I are taking off on our 'big uhbenture' (stolt from the Liz - add it to the list) on Saturday. I am so excited I can hardly see straight. The next two days will be full of laundry and packing and organizing and making sure the kiddo brought a toothbrush and then Saturday morning, we're OUTTIE!

I will keep you all abreast of our travels as I can. It's going to be an awesome trip. 6 weeks of family and friends, which are the family that you choose. Love, smiles, laughter, hugs, giggles, and nostalgia will ensue. I get to see some of the most beautiful places in this country and some of the most awesomest people to ever walk around in it.

So, you all hold down the fort. I will check in as able. Until then... have a wonderful summer!

Momentum

2008-06-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

It's going well. At least thus far. Austen and I are taking our communication breakdown seriously (ok, so it is more of a rebuild than a breakdown, but I couldn't resist the LZ ref). It's hard. We both have to stop and think about what we're saying. We got into some bad habits. I really think that was a huge part of our conundrum. I am sure this is going to be a one-step forward, two-steps back process at times, and I am ok with that. As long as most days are positive; we've got a shot.

We went to play some goofy golf today, and we had a great time. It felt *so* good...

Pretty Dern Good Weekend

2008-06-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly enough...

We started out rough. I really thought I was going to spend the weekend fighting with Austen; however, we did not engage. It was good. It was a step in the right direction.

I wiped out his room. The poor kid has nothing left. Well, that is not applicable today, but he spent Saturday with n.o.t.h.i.n.g. It was hard for him. He stepped up and helped me with some things I needed to do for the party last night and managed to execute almost exactly what he was instructed to do during the party (stay in his room and take care of the dog). So, he was told he got to have one thing back. He hemmed and hawed all day about it. In the end, he chose to get a more attractive pair of shoes back, which was far more logical than I expected. So, I let him have another thing back, too. I got a long, deep, tight hug tonight before bed. I haven't gotten one like that in a long time. It was awesome.

On to the party! What a freaking RIOT!!! Oh.my.gawd. that was one of the most amusing nights of my adult life. I laughed so hard that my cheeks hurt when I went to bed. I really, really, really enjoyed the heck out of myself. If everyone whom attended the party last night had half as much fun as I did; it was a success.

I finished off the weekend with a little cleaning today (note to all: when you have a party with all women, it is *very* easy to clean up afterward!) and a lot of very militant lounging and ardent snacking. I am presently adorned in the haute(st) of lounge-ware couture.

The only dismal part of the weekend was my lack of communication with Tom. I am raptly staring at my IM, though. I am sure I will get to talk to him in a moment! Well, bag that. While I was writing, I looked down at my little 'systray' and realized that there was no smiling, yellow face looking at me. So, I booted up Yahoo! Instant Messenger, and found that I had just missed my beloved by about 2 minutes. Sometimes I wonder how I made it to maturation.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, too!

Meme

2008-06-01T12:54:00.001-07:00

Add this to the 'lifting things from Liz' list"

Top 5 things I couldn't do without under $5:
- Burritos from Senor Panchos
- Songs off I-tunes
- Smell-good dryer sheets
- Fresh Fruit and veggies. I spend more than $5 but not individually
- Peanut Butter

Top 5 favorite movies:
- Legends of the Fall
- Braveheart
- Tombstone
- The House of Sand and Fog
- Terms of Endearment

Top 5 baby names you love but probably won't use:
- Caley
- Ruth
- Jo
- Kaiva
- Kai

Top 5 songs I could listen to over and over again:
- The Corrs: Runaway
- Spoon: Don't You Evah
- Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here
- Sublime: The whole Sublime Album
- Natalie Merchant: The whole Tiger Lily Album

Top 5 people who have influenced your life in a positive way:
- Austen
- Tom
- Eve
- Lisa
- The women I've met at/on Camp Pendleton. This will be the bar that all neighbors are held to for the rest of my life.

Top 5 things that stay in your purse at all times:
- Wallet
- Pen
- Lipstick
- Chapstick
- a bunch of damn receipts that I am bad at throwing away.

Top 5 moments that changed your life forever:
- My parents divorce - more specifically seeing my mom when she came to pick me up from the friend's house that morning with half of her face black.
- Moving to Florida
- Christmas 2001
- Becoming a mother
- Becoming a wife - there is nothing as special as being deeply seated in your love for someone and their love for you. I didn't know that until Tom.

Top 5 obsessions you have right now:
- Computer/Internet - Only connection to Tom
- LOLCATS

- The Scale (I check 2-3 times per day)
- Pictures - with the new camera, it's so fun!!
- Not yelling. This is brand new and I am working very diligently on it.

Top 5 places you would like to go:
- St Louis
- Fallujah, Iraq (No I am not kidding)
- Destin
- South Pacific
- Every-freaking-where

5 people you would like to see their top 5:
- I am not saying, because there isn't anyone that I don't want to hear/read their top 5s from.

What to do about that thing in the night...

2008-05-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

I love my child. I love my child. I.love.my.child. I just don't like him a whole lot lately. For some reason, he's dug his heels in deeper than ever and has just refused to behave with a semblance of humanity. I am not sure how much longer I can take this little postal worker in my home.

My husband lovingly assures me that he was just like this as a child, which frightens the holy bejesus out of me. How can such a kind, loving, sweet, empathetic, generous, beautiful man have been an alien as a teen? Were other boys like this, too? My brother was, to some extent. Please tell me that your kind, loving husbands were utterly hysterical maniacs as children, too. Please tell me that this is somehow normal.

He's such a fabulous kid when he's good. He's kind, generous, loving, sensitive and warm. I see less and less of that kiddo and more and more of the postal worker lately. Everyone tells me it's 'cus Dad is gone and he's just testing the waters. I'm about to send him over to Dad. Outward Bound or the equivalent isn't sounding all that bad at this moment.

I really don't have a point to this blog, other than to just blab. I guess it is a manner of venting. I've heard that this hormonal upheaval can last up to five years. This scares me.

Exasperation abounds.

For Michelle

2008-05-26T19:37:00.001-07:00

We're totally in the dark about the future, at this point. We were supposed to be going to VA Beach to the NMITC, but that is a no go, it would appear. We may be here in Cali for another few years. We may move some place totally different. Or, Tom may get out.

In regards to Del Mar: we're all moving back down there. They need to put the Enlisted folks that belong in these house in them. It does appear that the living in Del Mar will be nice, though. Same views, etc. but houses that aren't going to fall down around our ears.

The Easy Life

2008-05-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

This is truly unadulterated joy:

Lifting Things from Liz

2008-05-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

First, Liz, you can just start writing my blog, too. I've stolen your Shelfari, your traffic report and now your event tracker. Not to mention the whole blogging idea seems to have stemmed from you!

Secondly, I took off the adult content thing. I thought I might swear a little bit, but I don't see that happening.

Thirdly, happy Memorial Day. I hope that you all were able to talk to your husbands or snuggle them and love them. I know that Memorial Day isn't for them, but we all understand how easily it could be.

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

I got to talk to Tom for a while last night. It was so nice. We normally have these very brief, serious discussions about whatever we need to talk about. I don't get much goof off time with him. He spends 18-20 hours a day in the SCIF and there is no Wi-Fi in his room (yet). We get to email a little, but since he has to use the unclassified PC to email me, he really can't do that much either. It gets furstrating. Last deployment, we talked on IM all the time. We're at 19 weeks. That's a long time. I can't fathom that we still have a lot more than that to go. 4 months until R&R, though. That's going to have to get us through. Anyway, our conversation last night was a lot of laughs and giggling and just insane silliness. This is what makes Tom & Morgan Tom & Morgan.

I don't need to get all mushy this afternoon.

I am looking forward to summer. I will hopefully stay busy enough to make it fly by.

PSYC Final

2008-05-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

I aced it! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet! I am pretty sure this means I will have straight As for the semester.

I'm done with school!

2008-05-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

I had my last final yesterday. This makes for a happy Binky. I was so nervous about this whole going back to school thing that I had myself all twitterpated. I don't know why I stressed so much, but I did. I worried about every grade, every ort of information handed out. I think I can be more relaxed next semester. I haven't gotten stupid since the last time I went to school.

After my last final, some of my fellow classmates and I went out for cocktails. I am so not 23 anymore.

I know these are brief

2008-05-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

But I will post more in the coming weeks. Life isn't hectic, but I do have enough on my plate to keep me busy through tomorrow, at least.. lol

I have one more final today (PHIL) and one more tomorrow (ENG) and I am done, done, done! yay! The SOC final yesterday went well. I am sure I did well enough on it, regardless.

Last night I had dinner at General Kelly's house. How interesting. It really made me remember how much I miss living down in Del Mar. I am kinda glad now that we will be moving back down there. Austen will ride his bike to school, we will have a yard and Tom will be a mile from work. If we end up getting stuck here for another couple of years, it won't be too bad!

Oh, and I am posting this from my shiny new laptop. How fun!!

PSYC 101 Final

2008-05-19T11:20:00.001-07:00

I was allotted 2 hours and 15 minutes to take the test. I finished in 12 minutes. Is this good or bad?

I might try this...

2008-05-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

I guess I might try to keep up with a blog. I usually suck at things like this, though. So, it's here anyway. That means if I am inspired at some moment, I can write.

It could be really cool with all of the traveling this summer, Tom's R&R and Eve's wedding.

Recent Conversation with My Hubby...

2007-12-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

Just had to share this:

Binks: Honey, do you like Boxers or the Boxer Briefs Better?

Tom: Depends.

Binks: You're not THAT old!!!

When do I get my big girl panties?

2007-12-01T09:02:00.000-08:00

When does my life stop being about my father? I cannot go a day, hell an hour, without thinking of some dad reference. I get better, sometimes. Then it all comes back. The most bizarre shit sends me spinning out-of-control into an abyss of emotion.

I have figured out that I want nothing to do with the man.

I have figured out that the shit he did to me, my brother, my mother and my son was fucked up.

I have figured out that it wasn't/isn't my fault.

So why does this still torment me so much? I want so badly to live in *this* moment. My life is amazing. I have the coolest kiddo you could ever ask for, the most amazing lover/friend that I could ever ask for, a few really great friends, and a few animals to snuggle with. I have figured out that I like being a wife & mother. However, I have not been able to *be* those things for a while. My mind is so not anywhere near right now, most of the time. I spend my days trying to distract myself but not achieving anything. None of that is his fault, that's all me. It's just all wrapped up together though.

I want to let go of him completely, but I don't know how. I just don't know how to function anymore.

Any thoughts? (other than medicating me into a coma - my doctor is already trying that)

PHENOMENAL WOMAN (wow)

2007-11-04T16:37:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine had this on her MySpace page. I wanted to post it somewhere that I would have access to it regularly (in case she changed her page). It's an amazing piece, and, incredibly, something I *needed* today...

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Fathers and Daughters

2007-08-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

I finally gave in and listened to that Alec Baldwin thing. It took me back. Even the tone of his voice was just like my dad's. I remember answering the phone once and my father saying, "Hey lard-ass." My mom had answered at the same time I did, and heard the whole thing. I was embarrassed. I didn't want her to know that my daddy hated me. Not doing my chores, not looking the way he expected me to, not being the miniature woman that he thought I should be, not being good enough in any way.

My heart is breaking for Alec's daughter. It hurts so bad to have the most important man in your life speak words of hate to you. And now, the poor girl knows that the world knows, too. Her pain is going to be deep and lasting.

I certainly hope that this ego-maniacal, misogynistic man realizes how harmful his words are and gets some help.

I feel so silly right now. I feel like the 12 year old girl. Why am I bawling because Alec Baldwin said some mean shit to his little girl? It's just fucked up.. Why is it so hard for us to simply LOVE our children?